I heard this question asked in different ways in sessions I attended at my recent adventure to Collaborate 16. I heard it, also, answered in different ways, depending on who was answering it. Some of the answers made me smile, some made me face palm, frankly. It’s kind of amazing what we view as our biggest challenges/hurdles.
For me, there are two things that I view as hurdles.
1. The perception that other people have that I am FIRST a woman and SECOND a technologist. They hold the door for me and are taken aback when I hold the door for them. They use the phrase Ladies First. They apologize for “crude” remarks and for addressing a group as gentlemen and often in what almost seems like a somewhat condescending tone “and ladies”. I am your coworker. I could give a rat’s ass what “gender” word you use to address a group I’m in. I am gender neutral when I am at work. I do admit that there are many women who don’t take this stand and who do take offence at being called a gentleman. For a while I was taken aback a bit when I would listen to conversations discussing the mainframe as a him or a database as a he but the conversations aren’t in a research paper where every other time a gender word is used it is supposed to be he one time and she the next, him then her then him then her. We are sitting and having a conversation and I’m honestly not that thin skinned that I feel slighted or demeaned by the fact that a computer is always a him.
2. Two, and perhaps far larger than 1, is the fact that we, as women, tend to either have or exude far less confidence in ourselves than we should. Men don’t seem to have this problem. They will often over commit and under deliver and never make excuses for it later. We, on the other hand will far under promise and typically far over deliver and never accept or acknowledge the fact that we have. Now, I’m not saying we should run around bragging about what we have done, that would just make us obnoxious. But I think we need to understand that it really doesn’t matter if you KNOW you can do something or not. It doesn’t matter if you know you know something or not. We are just as capable as anyone to learn things on the fly and figure them out as we go. Don’t ever be afraid to take the chance. The worst thing that can happen is that you fall short of the mark, and that is human. In the process you will learn the things that did not work (like allowing someone else to set far too aggressive timelines when you know there is no way it is possible for anyone to deliver on them) and what did work. We will learn from what failed and we will know more the next time. Take the chance, step up, trust our gut and be confident in our decisions. We don’t have to be men to take a page from the man journal.
So, the next time you are faced with a challenge and you question your ability to actively deliver, take the chance.
April Wells
April 17, 2016
Women In Technology... in it together 